[Tuesday, November 09, 2004]

 
So my Teikokusensenki B's Log Collection comes in the mail and I'm happily flipping through it, wondering how in the world could I have missed out on all the BL porn . . . Then I read the game guide and all the hard events are in the add-on disc Senya no Yume (Dreams of a Thousand Nights--how very apt). Not a single scene with the BL rabu rabu. (Well no wonder it wasn't rated . . .)

You could probably hear the screams from several blocks away.

(All right, when I get to Tokyo, I'm entering all the game stores we run across until I can find Senya no Yume . . . I'm reverting back to the guaranteed porn of Enzai until I can get Senya no Yume . . .)

And here I was thinking that there was something wrong with me . . .

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The cat left something in the box at [3:31 AM] 0 comments

[Monday, November 08, 2004]

 
Dear job,
My back and shoulders hurt like the blazes and I still wake up early every morning. I have deadlines up the wazoo and I think our sup didn't quite understand our feedback when we said "it would be good to be informed of definite deadlines well in advance" . . .

I want to play Teikokusensenki until I get a porny ending! I have to enjoy myself this year because I have loads of compulsory training scheduled for next year and it can't be done on Saturdays . . .

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The cat left something in the box at [5:34 PM] 0 comments

 
BL Game Log (which is misleading because Eline doesn't think she's getting enough BL from this game): Teikokusensenki

Sharaku: Well I don't believe it. You got to the end of the game . . . You overthrew an empire.

Seika: I know.

Sharaku: But what I really don't believe is how you wound up with the true love route with Ri Ryushin.

Seika: . . .

Sharaku: You even snogged under a tree in the rain and everything!

Seika: I know . . .

Sharaku: But you didn't even get laid yet!

Seika: I know!

Sharaku: And he left you and you promised to remember each other forever and all that mushy crap! Ewww . . . In fact, the only couple after all 55 levels to get laid was Shouyo and Kendara! A minor couple gets laid and all I ever got to do was bitch-slap that skanky okama-wannabe?

Seika: With luck, the update patch would work in our favour . . .

Sharaku: It better . . .

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The cat left something in the box at [7:37 AM] 0 comments

[Saturday, November 06, 2004]

 
BL Game Log: Teikokusensenki

Ganken: We need to recruit more wimmen! What's an army without campfollowers?

Rinrin/Kankan: We're gorgeous femmes and absolutely wasted in this game because we've hooked up with a charming but flaming queer, a guy we always beat at drinking and a boy who's just waiting for one of the other characters to pick his cherry. We're not even going to mention the other guys in this game . . .

Ganken: And we need some wimmen to do the laundry and cooking . . .

Rinrin/Kankan: Bearing in mind that the scenarios of this game are based on Ancient China, we will not kick your head in. (Fear not . . . if you're sharp enough, you'll pick up our real story and piss yourself laughing even before everyone else finds out.)

Seika: Not too long ago I was just a peasant and now I'm in charge of an army large enough to have nameless extras?

Nameless extra: Yah, but you're not the one who'll wind up as cannon fodder.

Seika: Don't worry, I'll be tormented and depressed by all the deaths in this game.

Nameless extra: Gee, you don't know how reassuring that is---ggkkk!

Seika: Oh crap, that Shi Eikei guy is too strong . . .

Everyone else: We're toast . . .

Seika: Try, try again . . . thank goodness for the save option . . .

Sharaku: Camp as I seem, I make a good military advisor even though I spent most of my life boozing and being a shady character.

Ganken: Even though Queer-As-Blazes and I don't get along that well, we make a good team.

Sharaku: We have to, because if we don't, Shi Eikei is going to make us into toast soldiers--the kind you eat with a runny half-boiled egg.

Seika: Okay, so let's go around collecting more nakama because we can't quite defeat Shi Eikei at this rate . . .

Everybody else: Yokatta.

New characters: You've got new nakama!

Seika: But it doesn't help! I'm getting seers coming up to me and prophesing my death! And then I see my own death! I am doomed!

After been hit by Shi Eikei's assassin several times, we gave up and searched for a guide.

Sharaku: Because you need to get beyond this stage to get any rabu rabu. An army can't march without it's fair share of rabu rabu.

Seika: So you say . . .

Sharaku: Look, things got better after I snogged you and took your first kiss . . . and when you went skinny-dipping with Hishin.

Seika: That didn't stop the assassins . . .

Sharaku: Yeah, but look, you're scheduled to have seven or more potential love interests but you've only seen that socially-inept Ryushin twice and never even met Hyomu yet. Ganken is like your old man and I'm hardly even getting any action here, hello? I have a reputation to drag through the muck--I can't get any more degenerate if I didn't boink you and everyone else in this game.

Seika: . . .

Sharaku: You haven't spoken to En Ouka over there in ages and he's probably boffing his pretty subordinate whenever they're "resting". You only managed to get vaguely hot, wet and bothered with Hishin in the hotsprings and that didn't count for anything. Plus, we haven't even exchanged a word with Shi Eikei.

Seika: Your point being?

Sharaku: You died a virgin.

Seika: Disgusting as you are, you actually have a point.

Sharaku: Interested in not dying a virgin?

Seika: . . .

Sharaku: We could go by the true rabu rabu route? Or the Orge Domesticated Fowl (grapefruit) route . . .

Seika: Retreating sounds better and better by the day . . . Woe is me. My family is dead and I have the blood of thousands on my hands . . .

Sharaku: Hey, you could be in the gamer's other fandoms. Like Death Note. Where everyone was looking at this. Strong as my stomach was, that was a killer . . .

Seika: I take it back! I take it all back! Gimme my sword, I'm going to get me some proper Good Ending lovin' pronto! (And a new set of eyeballs because this pair needs a retina scrub. Gawd, we could use that animation on our enemies and they'd fall over themselves to surrender . . .)

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The cat left something in the box at [4:53 PM] 0 comments

 
BL Game Log: Teikokusensenki
Okay, so Teikokusensenki isn't really a BL game because you could play for hours and not come anywhere close to anything resembling rabu rabu. (Note the lack of an "18 years and above" sticker on the box. Daaannnnnng.)

Never the less, 95% of the cast are male, androgynous as they are (I can't tell any more--these games do screw with your head).

At the moment, we are plotting a rebellion to overthrow the corpulent emperor (who is really gross-looking btw). And because a rebellion consisting of two people looks ridiculous (okay, so it's not ridiculous in wuxia flicks because one character can kill off 100 men without mussing his hair), Seika and Ganken are going around collecting nakama. They didn't have enough time to collect the endearing oddballs of One Piece, but so far, I've got Shu Hishin and Ki Sharaku (I really, really don't like the names in this game). An apprentice magician who summons pandas and the degenerate son of the Ki family who is kind of flaming (cheeze, would you look at his outfit?) but good in a fight. Oddball enough lah.

If I'm not wrong, we should be on the way to meeting En Ouka soon. *rubs hands*

(Battle mode is surprisingly easy once I got it figured out--after dying an ignoble death a few times. It will probably get harder if Seika and co. have to battle other characters with names rather than miscellaneous CO plus soldiers.)

Must do some work first before gaming . . .

(M-san really does go "Waai!" when talking about CPs in Teikokusensenki. ^^;;; Genki sou desu ne . . . *goes "Waai!" in a more restrained manner*)

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*later*

En Ouka: I'm En Ouka and I'm going to be king. That's Haku Reijin, my staff officer and subordinate. (Every fangirl already assumes that we're sleeping together even without the incriminating cover of the drama CD.) I've been to Japan and I'm going to kill off the current emperor and take his place. Sure I'll join your cause. You can be my future lackeys. Did I mention that I'm going to be king?

Seika: Well aren't you a modest one . . .

Sharaku: As the flaming queer member of the team, I have to make a pass at your lovely subordinate as Hishin (aka comic relief) over there wasn't given any lines in this scene.

Reijin: . . .

Kaku Touou: Can I join the rebellion? Please? Please?

Seika: Oh brother . . . mine's dead, btw.

Everybody else: We know. Now quit it with the angst already, we're playing Mighty Empires, not Bad Fanfic Cliches.

Seika: Need I remind you that most of you are bad fanfic cliches?

Douei: I'm one of the non-bishounen in this show that doesn't appear in the booklet because I'm not very pretty and I act like a brute. I have absolutely no chance with any pretty boys in this game. You can bribe me with alcohol anytime.

Futsuryou: I'm rather plain-looking, but my personality doesn't qualify me for much screen time.

Kou Pokusei: I'm the oldest guy in this game. I must say that Langmaor is an equal opportunity employer as there's no way in hell an old prune like myself would ever get a spot in any other BL game. However, like Douei over there, I have absolutely no chance with any pretty boys in this game. Bugger.

Everybody else: We all heave a sigh of relief. Hey, we have enough people for three armies now . . .

Seika: Not realy, we didn't recruit them . . .

Everybody: So recruit harder!

Ganken: Hey, is that a drunken bar brawl? Without me in it?

Sharaku: I have to comment on all the kawaii boys in this game. Just because. He looks like he's a slave from Tenjiku. We should buy him.

Seika: Oh cheeze . . .

Kendara: This game actually pays attention to religious differences. I'd cheer, if not for the irony that the person voicing me used to voice Vallewida from Enzai.

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The cat left something in the box at [4:53 AM] 0 comments

[Friday, November 05, 2004]

 
Have already fangirled with genki Japanese seller over Teikokusensenki. We belong to the minority that actually likes Mou Ganken despite the fact that he's rather non-bishounen and in her words, "looks like an uncle amidst all the pretty boys". (Well, like really does call to like even online . . .) We're moving on to favourite CPs right now . . .

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BL Game Log: Teikokusensenki
The beginning:
In which the protagonist, Tou Seika, plus his family are introduced. They're serfs, if I'm reading this correctly and it's hard labour all the way as they toil to build the glorious empire of the current big-nob in power. (Feel so much more sympathetic to protagonist already.)

Seika's younger brother was sick and unable to work. What happens next is rather depressing as Seika's younger brother and his dad are killed and chucked on a heap of corpses. Seika's older brother prevents him from joining them. The brothers plot to escape and Seika has a vision of his brother's death. Which comes true and Seika is forced to flee (least his brother's sacrifice be in vain).

Seika meets the bear-like Mou Ganken, the first friendly soul he meets after the murder of his brother. The speed at which Ganken offers to aid poor injured Seika should have made anyone suspicious, but we're in a BL game here, so Seika does take Ganken up on his offer to team up and kill off the Emperor. (Shades of Hero, anyone?)

As the story progresses, Seika has visions of approaching enemies and an attack on Ganken. After seeing and finally believing Seika's predicitons, Ganken declares that he's got a knack for predicting the future. Seika isn't so sure if this is a good thing. Mou Ganken has shown his incredible niceness by carrying a practically lame Seika through the woods and fighting by his side.

This games certainly does have much more plot than Enzai.

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The cat left something in the box at [9:09 AM] 0 comments

 
The Teikokusensenki game arrived. ^^ (When Japanese sellers sell you stuff secondhand, it's almost as good as new. I weep with joy at the scratchless surfaces of the CDs. Swoon in rapture at the perfect condition of the drama CD. Ogle curiously at the still mint trading cards . . . Compare to the scratched secondhand CDs at Cash Converters. *sigh*)

Heh . . . hopefully I might have time to play the game. And survive the game because there's actually the whole RPG adventure like FF7 (right down to the chibi battles and the inventories).

Now to get this thingy installed . . .

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*After reading the booklet*

Wai . . . slightly more complicated than Enzai. (For one thing,the player does not wander around trying to avoid getting molested.)

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The cat left something in the box at [3:34 AM] 0 comments

[Sunday, October 31, 2004]

 
Saw Mamma Mia! on Saturday. Brought mum and aunt along, thereby fulfilling the promise I made back in London in 2000 that we'd see it someday. ^^ Much fun and probably the best musical this year because everyone and their mother knows the lyrics to ABBA songs.

Dee: Have been a lousy correspondent as usual, but I got you a programme to make up for it? ^^;;;;

The stray-cat-who-is-mostly-from-next-door-but-has-several-people-feeding-it has been losing fights again and coming back with it's skin clawed to ribbons. Seeing as it's probably mating season from the noises at night, the cat being led around by it's balls as usual.

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Seller has sent me a postage pamphlet. Aww, how sweet. Very touching (despite the fact that it can be found online) and now I must go and be properly grateful.

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Won a secondhand copy of Teikokusensenki off Y!Jp. The little chibis in the fighting sequences were so cute I wanted the game . . . and of course it's pretty because it's by the same company that did Enzai.

From the trial version:

Pro: It's not half as porny as Enzai (because the main protagonist didn't get molested by a sadistic Warden within the first 15 minutes of the game).

Con: It's not half as porny as Enzai. Dang.

Pro: There's something else to do besides figuring out which route to take to avoid the Welcome Party. (Durer and Guildias are unavoidable in Enzai, so that doesn't figure.)

Con: It involves more characters than I can keep track of (which was why I gave up on Robert Jorden and Terry Goodkind). Most of whom have names which would sound much better in Chinese. Seeing as it resembles the history of the Three Kingdoms in some way, that didn't come as much of a surprise . . .

Pro: The protagonist (Tou Seika) is not half as annoying as Guys from Enzai. (A huge plus! Now if only the artist wouldn't keep drawing him like Guys . . .)

Con: I have to figure out how to do battle with chibi armies. (Oh well, kanji practice . . .)

Pro: Midorikawa Hikaru is the seiyuu for one of the leads. Aha--they got a well-known seiyuu!

Con: It is a very big and long game--look it's two CDs and there's even a special CD for upgrading the game that'll cost another arm and a leg.

Pro: But it's pretty! And comes with a drama CD of what looks like the potential favourite pairing in the sack together. ^^ (En Ouka X Haku Reijin)

Con: I haven't finished playing Enzai yet . . . (And those Playstation games kit loaned me--no time, no time . . . I hope I have time in the next month or so. T__T)

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The cat left something in the box at [5:42 PM] 0 comments