[Monday, March 27, 2006]

 
The Odd Ramble

Why Prison Sex

Collision Theory states that enzyme and substrate molecules will collide randomly, sometimes forming enzyme substrate complexes that result in a bio-chemical/catalytic reaction.

I looked back on fics (past and current) and I realised that I write a lot of prison sex. And the occasional unsympathetic protagonist.

I don't know, really, but it has a lot to do with people being squeezed together to small spaces until they have to interact and then explode from the pressure.

Unlikely Unlikeable Protagonists

A catalyst is an organic or inorganic substance that lowers the activation energy of the overall reaction, thus increasing the probability of a reaction.

Protagonists are usually special. Or presumed to be special. Or hang out with special people until they discover that they are special too.

Likeable protagonists are very common. A way to reduce empathy would be to see the protagonist from everyone else's POV. By and large, protagonists don't have to be likeable--things just happen to them or happen around them.

New Protagonist will be mad, bad and sad. His background would be as ordinary as crab grass and he will have very little taste in clothes or colours. He plays the piano (rather badly) and is a mediocre singer at best. He used to be a crappy individual, but The Plot Happened and his life was never the same again.

And Their Equally Unlikeable Boyfriends

Co-enzymes are substances that enable some enzymes to carry out their functions.

Unlikeable Boyfriend Plus Supporting Cast will not be too big, thus solving the problem of not remembering their names. Plus Supporting Cast will have faces and names and subplots that link up with the main plot.

Unlikeable Boyfriend will exhibit obsessive traits and scratch his itch with all and sundry. Unlikeable Protagonist and Boyfriend will have tattoos of each other's names done at one point in the story to demonstrate just how tacky and possessive they really are.

Plus Supporting Cast will include Best-Friend, Other-Best-Friend-In-A-Totally-Platonic-Way, Friend-Like-A-Younger-Brother, Friend-With-Benefits, Not-Friends and Extras. And Other-Boyfriend. Did I mention Other-Boyfriend? Monogamy isn't optional for the Protagonist. Other-Boyfriend is even more possessive than Boyfriend.

Extras will come in bite-sized servings of Unlikeable, Blah and I-Wish-He-Had-Been-The-Boyfriend-Instead-Of-WhosHisFace.

The Plot Happened

Reactions may be catabolic or anabolic.

Backwards and forwards in time. In different locations (including prison) across several arcs. Gah.

Labels: original shit, wut