[Monday, March 27, 2006]

 
The Odd Ramble

Why Prison Sex

Collision Theory states that enzyme and substrate molecules will collide randomly, sometimes forming enzyme substrate complexes that result in a bio-chemical/catalytic reaction.

I looked back on fics (past and current) and I realised that I write a lot of prison sex. And the occasional unsympathetic protagonist.

I don't know, really, but it has a lot to do with people being squeezed together to small spaces until they have to interact and then explode from the pressure.

Unlikely Unlikeable Protagonists

A catalyst is an organic or inorganic substance that lowers the activation energy of the overall reaction, thus increasing the probability of a reaction.

Protagonists are usually special. Or presumed to be special. Or hang out with special people until they discover that they are special too.

Likeable protagonists are very common. A way to reduce empathy would be to see the protagonist from everyone else's POV. By and large, protagonists don't have to be likeable--things just happen to them or happen around them.

New Protagonist will be mad, bad and sad. His background would be as ordinary as crab grass and he will have very little taste in clothes or colours. He plays the piano (rather badly) and is a mediocre singer at best. He used to be a crappy individual, but The Plot Happened and his life was never the same again.

And Their Equally Unlikeable Boyfriends

Co-enzymes are substances that enable some enzymes to carry out their functions.

Unlikeable Boyfriend Plus Supporting Cast will not be too big, thus solving the problem of not remembering their names. Plus Supporting Cast will have faces and names and subplots that link up with the main plot.

Unlikeable Boyfriend will exhibit obsessive traits and scratch his itch with all and sundry. Unlikeable Protagonist and Boyfriend will have tattoos of each other's names done at one point in the story to demonstrate just how tacky and possessive they really are.

Plus Supporting Cast will include Best-Friend, Other-Best-Friend-In-A-Totally-Platonic-Way, Friend-Like-A-Younger-Brother, Friend-With-Benefits, Not-Friends and Extras. And Other-Boyfriend. Did I mention Other-Boyfriend? Monogamy isn't optional for the Protagonist. Other-Boyfriend is even more possessive than Boyfriend.

Extras will come in bite-sized servings of Unlikeable, Blah and I-Wish-He-Had-Been-The-Boyfriend-Instead-Of-WhosHisFace.

The Plot Happened

Reactions may be catabolic or anabolic.

Backwards and forwards in time. In different locations (including prison) across several arcs. Gah.

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The cat left something in the box at [7:05 AM] 0 comments

[Sunday, March 19, 2006]

 
Inspired by a drawing problem . . .

Drawing cock is a hang-up,
For girls who draw boys who like boys.
We have no easy references,
Unless we possess realistic sex toys.

And it's often quite a problem,
To get your boys anatomically well-hung.
When is too big too vulgar?
And how to get it proportionate?
What if it looks deformed?
Which would be most unfortunate.

Should I censor it out,
Or let them shake it all about?

Perhaps there is something to be said about cones of light after all.

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The cat left something in the box at [2:54 AM] 0 comments

[Friday, July 09, 2004]

 
Sign #42 that I've gone off the deep end . . .

====================
(BL) Fangirl Paradise
(To be rapped or sung along to Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" or Weird Al's "Amish Paradise". If you're drunk enough, that is.)

As I scroll down my mailing lists and drive my RPG characters to certain death,
I take a look at my life and realize there ain't much left,
Cos I've been surfing and gaming so long that
Even my mother thinks that my mind is gone,
But I ain't never bought overpriced dj that wasn't worth it,
Me paying $50 for doujinshi, you know that's unheard of!
Gotta watch what I'm surfing, hide the games I'm playing,
Or the family will go into shock.
I really hate bad fanfiction but we've all got to cope
Face it, we'd read crap fanworks until we croak . . . (fool)
I'm the kind of BL-lovin' gal most fangirls are like
Surfing deep into the night, sniggering at glowing cones of light.

Been spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise
I've used WinMX more than twice
Living in a fangirl paradise
Wrote fanfic many a time
Living in a fangirl paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise

Look at the situation, convention's got me facing,
I lead a normal life, I can't afford to trip,
So I gotta fly under the radar to survive.
Too much yaoi-viewing got me spawnin' ecchi dreams.
I'm an overeducated fool with doujinshi on my mind,
Got my credit card in my hand and a gleam in my eye.
I'm a semi-literate hardcore BL gamer
And my Japanese skills are cruddy so don't ask for translations! (fool)
Altavista Babblefish is just a mouse-click away . . .
I'm living life my own way, so what can I say?
"I'm 24, this is going to continue beyond age 25,
These *really* aren't the cartoons you think you know, Dad . . ."

Tell me why are we
So blind to see
That yaoi
Is actually the same as hentai and yuri?

Been spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise
I sell doujinshi at quite a reasonable price
Living in a fangirl paradise
Second-generation burned TeniPuri raws will suffice
Living in a fangirl paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise

Doujinshi or the money, saving money or the buying power?
Minute after minute, hour after hour,
Everybody's searching, most of them are looking
At what's going on Y!Jp auctions, but I got my own little ways.
Got to learn more Japanese but that's no guarantee!
If the sellers can't understand it, how can they sell to me?
I guess they can't
Most of them won't
It's back to square one
That's when my attempts at auctions run out of luck . . .

We been spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise
BitTorrent sure was nice
Living in a fangirl paradise
Signed up with eBay in a trice
Living in a fangirl paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise

Tell me why are we,
So mean and bitchy
To other fangirls like you and me?

Ever wonder why do we,
Find boy-on-boy, S&M, Non-Con and shota fantasies
Just so pretty?

We been spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise
P2P sharing got me into trouble once or twice
Living in a fangirl paradise
Porny doujinshi are my vice
Living in a fangirl paradise
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a fangirl paradise . . .

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