Disclaimer: Hogwarts, Harry, and Hermione are JKR's; "Let It Be" is the Beatles'; I apologize profusely to both.

If you write an OFC

Who's cute and perfect-just like you

Betcha you just wrote a

Mary Sue.

She just transferred to Hogwarts

And of course, the whole school likes her, too-

Look out! Here she comes

It's Mary Sue.

Mary Sue, Mary Sue, Mary Sue, Mary Sue

Another Harry Potter Mary Sue.

She's smarter than Hermione

And she saves the world from You-Know-Who-

All the canon males want Mary Sue.

But if you feel you must write her

Don't be shocked when you get bad reviews:

We're all sick of reading

Mary Sues.

Mary Sue, Mary Sue-can I kill Mary Sue?

We don't need another Mary Sue.