Posted 2/24/2001

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Lupin/Snape

Summary/Disclaimer: Lupin decides to get a little closer to Snape; by dropping in on a theater rehearsal. These boys don't belong to me, but to rk.

Distribution: List archives

Feedback: Go for it.

Author's note: This was my first fanfic ever. Be gentle.

Lupin was walking into the break room with another teacher, a co-worker whom he trusted. Professor Flitwick.

"I just don't know how I can get closer to him...there's got to be a way."

Professor Flitwick acknowledged the comment with a nod, but remained silent until they were seated at the empty table. They sat in silence across from each other for almost 20 minutes. The silence, due to many years of good friendship, was not in any way awkward.

Finally, Flitwick said, "You know, there is a rehearsal of the play that Snape is in. He's the lead character. The rehearsal is tonight at The Little Theater."

"So?" growled Lupin.

"So," emphasized Flitwick, "during rehearsals, they like to take non-actors, put them in place of one of the actors in the scene, and play it and see if it makes sense. As long as you know your lines, you can do it! Those 'theater types' love the feedback!"

"Humph! And what bit of nonsense for a play is *he* doing now?" asked Lupin in a rather irritated tone.

"*A Mile in My Shoes*. Remember, two young boys find their love for each other in the wake of a wake! HA! Love after a funeral!"

"Oh, gads!" spat Lupin.

"Give it a try. Look...on the top of that desk is a copy of the script. Read it, decide what scene you want to do with him and get your ass to that rehearsal tonight and see if you can handle it!" Flitwick pointed a bony finger to a messy, paper-strewn desk across the room.

Lupin pushed away from the table resignedly and walked over to the desk. Sure enough, right on top of the cluttered mess of a desk was a copy of the entire screenplay. After a quick glance at the door Lupin picked up the script, folded it lengthwise tucked it inside a deep breast pocket in his robes. Without a word to Flitwick, he briskly walked to the door, yanked it open and left.

Flitwick watched him with great amusement and chuckled as Lupin exited. "He doesn't have a chance!" Flitwick said to himself, laughing and shaking his head. "Not a chance..."

That night at the rehearsal, Lupin entered the theater and sat at the back in a dark shaded area out of site. He had spent that entire afternoon reading that damned screenplay until he found the perfect scene. He worked for hours memorizing every line, every cue, and every move.

Lupin silently watched as the players assembled on the stage while the director shouted last minute instructions at them. To Lupin, it seemed a confusing mess. Decisions were made on what scene to rehearse, who would act and who would watch. Short disagreements broke out and were resolved within seconds as the troupe broke into groups and made ready to rehearse a specific scene. But not the scene Lupin had memorized hours before. He, however, had other plans. Lupin stood up; tugged at his robes making them straight, took a deep breath, and walked down to the stage.

The ruckus and noise of the rehearsal was broken by Lupin's deep voice: "I want to stand in tonight...to help with rehearsal". The silence became obvious as the actors, including Snape looked down at the newcomer in complete astonishment. Not too many people had the nerve to do a stand in, although it was something that this play, these actors, sorely needed this night.

"And just what scene, my dear Professor Lupin, do you want to do tonight?" asked Snape, looking down his nose at the eager intruder.

"Act Three. Scene One. 'The first kiss'," replied Lupin.

Snape briefly hesitated. The other actors may not have noticed the hesitation, but Lupin did. Snape, quickly pulling himself together, nodded once, and waved Lupin up on stage.

Lupin approached the steps and walked up on to the stage. Almost the instant his feet hit the stage his heart quickened and he could feel his hands begin to shake. Lupin stuffed them into the pockets of his robs hoping to hide them from the onlookers. Snape noticed. Snape smiled his evil sneer and held out at a hand showing Lupin to the steps of the makeshift house.

The scene was the back porch of an old farmhouse. Snape's character was supposed to be comforting his friend after attending a funeral for the friend's father. Tonight, Lupin was that mourning friend. Lupin sat down on the step and Snape sat beside him.

"Begin," Snape said sternly. There was complete silence in the theater.

A tear began to leak out of Lupin's eye and he stared down at his knees. The scene had begun.

Lupin spoke while weeping, "My Dad is gone. He's gone. What am I supposed to do? What happens now?" Lupin continued to stare at his knees just like the script and told him to do. Snape looked at Lupin. It seemed to Snape that Lupin was performing the part of the grieving young man with such depth, such professionalism, that Snape was truly moved; touched, actually, by the emotion that so easily displayed.

Snape reached out and touched Lupin's cheek, brushing the tear away. Snape let his fingers trail down his cheek and he touched cheekbone, mustache stubble and lips. His fingers lingered lightly on Lupin's lips.

Although the script had called for Snape's character to have his fingers linger a second or two, Snape's fingers stayed a little longer than Lupin expected. Lupin gave Snape a slow sideways glance, tears still streaming. The look in Lupin's face was of grief so deep, that Snape felt almost swallowed up. It made his heart ache. He leaned towards those lips, fingertips still lightly on them, and kissed Lupin gently.

The script called for the kiss. The director had made it clear that the kiss was only to last 1-1/2 seconds, 2 at the most. Snape knew it. Lupin knew it. But this kiss, although very gentle, was lasting a bit more. No one said a word as the kiss continued. 3 seconds, 4 seconds, 5. It was a soft kiss. A gentle and silent encounter between the two men. It was as though they had waited a lifetime for it to happen in just this manner.

When Snape pulled away, Lupin stifled a sharp intake of breath, took a split second to recover and then continued on with the scene.

"Wha. . .?" stammered Lupin's character.

"I'm sorry. I should not have done that," Snape stated the line flatly and looked away from Lupin.

It was then that Snape completely broke away from the script. The script now called for Snape to say, "No, I'm not really sorry....", but Snape continued to look away from Lupin. The silence deepened in the theater; no one dared to move on that vast, dimly lit stage.

This time, Lupin reached for Snape. He reached at first for his chin, but hesitated and then gently touched the hair above his temple, smoothing down an imagined flyaway. Lupin leaned and whispered in Snape's ear, "You're supposed to tell me you're not sorry, Severus".

Snape jerked a look at Lupin expecting to see a sarcastic smirk, but instead Lupin had a smile on his face that compassionate and understanding.

After what seemed an eternity to Snape, but was actually only a few seconds, Snape pulled himself together and the scene continued. "No. I'm not sorry," said Snape's character. "I should not have done that. Not now...but I would have done it tomorrow. Or maybe the next day...or the day after."

"Why now?" said Lupin's character.

There was a pause and with the perfect timing of a seasoned actor, Snape delivered the last line of the scene, "Because you let me."

Lupin stared at Snape in theatrical disbelief. Snape, chin held slightly high, stared back at Lupin.

"LIGHTS FADING ON THE SCENE!" yelled the director and suddenly, the director and all of the other actors were standing and applauding Lupin and Snape. Comments could be heard over the din: "...never done better!" and "such feeling" and "..almost erotic!"

Lupin started to stand and quickly sat down with a plop next to Snape. He was shaking again. He felt like he was on some kind of high. He realized now what the theater groupies had referred to as being "in the grove" and "coming off of the high" after a performance. It was just a rehearsal, for God's sake, what was wrong with him?

Snape, Lupin noticed, had been watching him. Snape smiled, then laughed, slowly shaking his head.

Snape said, under his breath, "Amateur."

Lupin retorted back, "Prima Donna!".

And they both embraced while the applause continued.

"That was quite a performance, Lupin, my dear friend...you never mentioned you were a thespian at heart."

"I'm not. I've never been on a stage before in my life," replied Lupin dryly.

Lupin and Snape were backstage. Snape was un-dressing and pulling off makeup and pants, fake sideburns and ties. He was one of the few actors that always did his rehearsals as "dress rehearsals". It made the others crazy. Lupin sat on a wooden chair facing him watching Snape as he peeled off the night's performance.

Lupin watched Snape as he tugged the sweater and T-shirt over his head and tossed them in a heap into the hamper. He had only worn them for an hour, but to Snape they were dirty. Snob.

Snape stood up and reached past Lupin for a robe when Lupin noticed, for the first time, the fine scar across Snape's chest. Lupin instinctively touched it. Snape jerked back from Lupin and took a step back. He was obviously caught off guard by the touch; however light it was. Snape's look at Lupin was incredulous.

"I'm sorry. I just.." Lupin stopped knowing he had crossed the line.

Snape looked steadily at the man who had just touched him. His touch was so light it was like a feather. He took a step back towards Lupin.

"The whomping willow. I had sleep-walked one night and walked right into it," Snape finally replied.

"You sleepwalk??"

"Not usually; just when I'm under a lot of stress. More stress than usual, I mean."

"Oh."

Lupin looked up at Snape. Lupin suddenly realized that Snape was not the uncaring, cold, angry, silent man that he often loathed (and had always secretly wanted.) He was a lonely human being that could be hurt; that could be scarred.

As if it had a mind of its own, Lupin's hand rose slowly to the level of Snape's chest and once again, lightly touched the scar. This time, Snape did not back away. It seemed to Lupin that Snape actually leaned into the touch, making it last.

Lupin continued to look at the scar with a look of complete compassion. Lupin leaned towards the scar and placed a kiss lightly on the other man's chest; on the angry scar itself.

Snape gasped. He felt the surge of electricity. Or at least it felt like electricity. Snape was still standing and Lupin was sitting before him. Snape reached out and ran his trembling fingers lightly through the rumpled dark hair on Lupin's head.

Snape leaned down and whispered, "Do that again." And Lupin did.

Snape felt the heat spread from his groin outwards and the breath caught in his throat. He moved in even closer towards Lupin, between the knees that Lupin had let drop apart. Lupin felt Snape's hard cock as it pressed against his abdomen.

Lupin reached around Snape and grabbed Snape's butt cheeks and pulled Snape tight up against him. Lupin craned his neck and hungrily licked an already erect nipple.

"Oh, God.." was all Snape could manage to say. Lupin's hands were still on Snape's ass as he pulled Snape and released and pulled and released allowing Snape to grind against Lupin. Lupin reached around into those ridiculous briefs that Snape wore and maneuvered a finger around and lightly stroked Snape's opening. To Snape, this was almost more than he could bear.

Snape, to Lupin delight, had lost complete control.

"Oh, yes...do it now!!!" pleaded Snape has he pressed his groin hard against Lupin. Lupin slipped a finger into Snape's opening and that was all it took; Snape went over the edge while gripping Lupin's shoulders and was nearly weeping into Lupin's hair. Wave after wave of orgasm shook Snape's body as he gripped Lupin's shoulders as if to hang on for dear life.

It took a few minutes for Snape to regain his composure; Lupin held him all along. Finally, slowly, Snape pushed away from Lupin, grabbed him by the lapels of his robes and tugged him up to a standing position. Neither man spoke a word.

Snape studied that handsome face for a second or two and then deeply kissed Lupin. He pulled away from the kiss and then slowly returned to lick Lupin's lips. Lupin, who had planned to be in control this evening, could not hide his pleasure. He gave himself away...with a whimper.

Snape pulled back from Lupin, smiled, and without speaking began to undo the robes, exposing Lupin, naked underneath. As they fell at Lupin's feet, Snape led Lupin to the little cot in the corner. "Why had I not noticed that before?" thought Lupin.

Lupin started to sit, but Snape stopped him and beckoned him to lay face down on the cot. "Do I want this?" thought Lupin, but he was not finishing his thoughts anymore. They were lost in a haze as Snape gently guided him to the cot, with a gentle caress for assurance.

Snape grabbed some oil from some hidden place and began a slow methodical back rub; except Snape's backrubs were apparently, a little different. This backrub started at the thighs and worked up. By now, Lupin was so aroused he was hard to the point of pain and he ached for release. Almost by instinct Lupin raised his hips up. Snape reached down between Lupin's legs and caressed his manhood, gripping his cock with steady pressure. The oil slicked hand eased on to Lupin's balls as Lupin bit into a pillow on the cot. Lupin moaned and gripped the mattress, knuckles white with the stress.

Snape returned his ministrations to the long hot cock that belonged to this new lover and while one hand slowly stroked the cock, the other, newly slickened with oil, began to probe. A finger gently slid in and Lupin jumped, shocked by the sensation. Snape stopped for a second and as Lupin's body began to relax, Snape continued; stroking with one hand and probing with the other.

The probing, which had started with one finger was soon joined by two and then by three. Snape stopped again when he felt Lupin starting to shake. He didn't want to hurt him.

From the pillow on the cot, Snape heard a muffled "..ok..." and took it as encouragement to continue.

As Snape continued to probe with three fingers and stroke with the other Lupin gradually raised his hips more and more. Before long, Lupin was bucking into the probe and nearly screaming into the pillow. He bucked and bucked as Snape probed, licked and stroked. This seemed to go on and on forever.

Finally, Snape leaned down towards Lupin's sweat-dampened hair and whispered in his ear. It was barely audible above the moans and pleading, "Let it go, Remus."

As if that gentle phrase was all that it took Lupin came into Snape's hand, still gripping the mattress, face screaming, still buried in the pillow. Snape then removed his fingers from Lupin, disengaging from him as gently as he could. He then climbed in beside him, hugging him letting Lupin shakily regain his sanity.

They both drifted off to sleep, closely entwined, on that little cot that sat backstage in Snape's dressing room at the Little Theater at Hogwarts.