Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Lupin/Snape

Summary: Snape discovers that getting a little "culture" can be painful.

Feedback: Yup, I obviously need all the help I can get...

Author's note: Warning: This story is SLASH.

Snape was standing outside of the castle with his hands on his hips. He watched while the Weasley twins roughhoused near him. Pulling on each other and laughing, their faces red and their clothes mussed up. They had grass stains on their knees.

Remus Lupin stood beside Snape watching them as well. Lupin laughed as one of the boys kicked the other in the butt sending him flying face-first into a patch of flowers.

"Cretins," growled Snape annoyed by the noise and the clatter.

"What you need is a little *culture*, Severus," said Lupin, looking at Snape with his lopsided grin and twinkling eyes.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" snarled Snape. What little humor he had was draining rapidly away.

Laughing, Remus replied, "Come with me!" and took off towards the shed at the edge of the grounds. Grudgingly, Snape followed Lupin. It was either that or return back to the castle; and on a beautiful day like this, he would be a fool to do so.

The shed sat near a paved path that led towards and around the lake. Snape knew this path too well, as he walked it regularly. When they came upon the shed, Lupin produced his wand and tapped the door, freeing it from its locked state. It swung open and Lupin stepped inside. Snape could hear him rummaging around.

"What are you doing in there, Remus?" asked Snape. Snape was curious, although he'd never admit it.

Lupin popped out of the shed with a child-like smile. "Looking for these!" and held up two pairs of roller blades.

"No... way!" spat Snape.

Remus plopped down on a nearby bench and began to remove his shoes. "Chicken, Severus?"

Snape returned his question with a deadly glare.

"Come on, I dare you to try," teased Lupin.

"This is *culture*?" asked Snape, sitting down beside him on the bench.

Lupin looked up at him, interrupting his task of lacing the blades. "Yes, Sev, this is it. Do you want to try or not?"

"Oh, very well!" spat Snape, and he removed his shoes as well.

Lupin glided smoothly twenty-five feet down the paved trail, spun around and returned to Snape, who sat on the bench, open-mouthed staring at his friend. Did this man know how to do everything?

Laughing, Lupin helped Snape stand. "Ok, fella, you're next. Let's give it a whirl!"

Snape stumbled and tripped, awkwardly tromping down the trail.

"You're supposed to skaaaate, Snape. You're trying too hard, old man!" shouted Lupin after him.

"Shut up! I know what I'm -" and Snape fell with a thud on his butt.

Snape rolled over onto his knees and stood shakily up on the blades again. Lupin stood a ways back from him fighting the urge to help his friend...and fighting a bigger urge not to laugh.

Once again, Snape headed down the path tripping. Gradually, however, he picked up some grace and a little speed. Snape was able to turn around and head back up the path towards Remus. Breathless, Snape stopped in front of Remus and managed a sorry excuse for a smile.

Remus stood before him with his hands on his hips. "Well, I'll be damned."

"You will be if you don't help me out of these," growled Snape, trying to sound fierce.

"Oh, no you don't," said Lupin, taking Snape by the elbow. "We're roller lading together. Come on, now, once around the lake."

Snape snorted his disgust, but trudged along side Lupin who seemed to glide along beside him with ease. As the men moved around the lake, Snape seemed to get better. By the time they returned to the shed, Severus Snape was gliding along *almost* as good as Lupin. Of course, once they arrived at the shed, Snape promptly fell down hard on his butt a third time. Or was it a fourth? His robes were a bit tattered and definitely dirtier than when he first started out.

"Damn!" spat Snape.

"Just stay down there, Sev. I'll help you get those off," said Lupin laughing.

Snape rested on the hard ground beside the bench and watched Lupin as he carefully unlaced his own blades and pulled them off. Lupin then knelt down before Snape and began to unlace Snape's.

"I can do that," Snape flatly.

"Hush," replied Lupin.

Lupin's nimble fingers unlaced and loosened the blades and he gently pulled them both off of Snape's feet. Lupin sat the blades to the side and then picked up one of Snape's feet and gently rubbed the sore foot. He seemed to know just where the skates had bit into his skin.

As Lupin picked up Snape's other foot and began to rub it, he looked up into Snape's face. That face was so hard to read. But one thing that Lupin was sure of, the face did not show any disgust or contempt for this intimate act of kindness.

"You should have worn socks, Sev," said Lupin gently.

Snape opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn't come. Instead, Snape inhaled a ragged breath of air; a gasp. He had been holding his breath. Smiling, Lupin bent down and kissed Snape's irritated foot.

"There. All better," said Lupin with a grin. He got up and put on his own shoes as Snape put on his. "Let's go get a drink, Sev. I'm buying."

Snape nodded and stood up and walked shakily next to Lupin back to the castle.

Back in Lupin's room Snape slowly sat down sinking into the large recliner. Snape leaned his head back and closed his eyes while Lupin got the drinks.

Lupin returned to Snape's side to give him his drink but instead stood there for a second or two to study his friend. Snape lay reclined in the chair. His robes were open almost to the waist and a small gold chain lay nestled in a tangle of soft brown chest hair. Remus watched as Snape's chest rose and sunk steadily with every breath that Severus Snape took. A small pulse showed in Snape's neck, a stirring cadence that seemed to be intensifying.

"Sev, your drink?" spoke Lupin softly. Snape's eyes opened and he sat up and took the drink from Remus.

"Butterbeer?" asked Snape.

"You don't like it?" inquired Lupin, an amused look on his face.

"I do," answered Snape.

"I do have something stronger," suggested Lupin, a tease in his voice.

"Bring it on," replied Snape, taking the unspoken dare.

Lupin turned and went into the kitchen. Snape got out of his chair, rather slowly, and followed him. Lupin turned to see his friend accompanying him into the galley. Lupin noticed that Snape winced as he walked.

Lupin poured two whiskeys into shot glasses and glanced at Snape. "Are you hurt, Sev?" asked Lupin.

"You don't want to know," groused Snape, taking the shot of whiskey and gratefully tossing it down.

"Tell me where," prodded Lupin.

"You'll have to get me a lot drunker than this to find out, Lupin," retorted Snape, the menace showing in his voice.

So, Remus poured him a second shot...and then a third.

"Come on, baby," taunted Remus, "show me where it hurts."

"No."

Lupin poured another shot for them both. Snape was ahead of him by two, but both were feeling no pain at this point.

"I'll kiss it and make it better," said Lupin with a leer on his face.

"Don't be crude!" spat Snape.

Lupin stood unsteadily from his barstool in the kitchen and stood behind Snape who was standing, but leaning on the counter. "Trust me," whispered Lupin into Snape's ear. "Show me."

Snape hesitated.

"Don't you dare laugh," warned Snape.

"I won't," promised Lupin.

Snape shakily bent down and grabbed the hem of robe and almost fell over. Lupin grabbed Snape around the waist righting him.

"Back off! Let me do this!" spat Snape.

Remus backed off and poured Snape another shot, which Snape drank down. Once again, Snape bent over, this time successfully grabbing his own hem and standing up. He was still facing away from Lupin when he pulled the robe up and over his behind exposing his buttocks; red, scraped and bruised buttocks.

"Oh, Sev, I had no idea!"

"I fell on it."

"I mean that you had such a nice ass."

"For God's sake Lupin! Can't you be serious for just one-"

But Snape's verbal reprimand was cut short when Lupin smoothed a hand over Snape's behind. Lupin's hand was so warm and it seemed to ease the aches that had settled there after today's roller blading fiasco.

Snape faced the counter, both arms resting on it. His knees trembled as Lupin ran his large, warm hands across Snape's backside and down his thighs. Lupin bent to kiss Snape there, at the base of one cheek, and it seemed to take away the pain.

Lupin bent down behind Snape and licked and teased along Snape's crack sending shivers up Snape's spine.

"Remus..."

"Shut up and let me do this, Sev."

"Mmmm," was Snape's response.

Lupin reached into the nearby bucket. "Ice, Severus", warned Lupin as he glided a large ice cube over the scrapes and bruises on Snape's backside. Snape jumped at the initial contact, but immediately relaxed as those skillful hands moved that chuck of ice over painful loins.

Lupin blazed a trail of cold water across Snape with the quickly melting cube. Lupin followed that same path kissing and licking; warming the same path as quickly as it was cooled. With the ice nearly melted, Lupin dropped to his knees and kissed Snape again on one cheek. He pressed on muscled thighs, urging Snape to turn around. When he did, Lupin was greeted with Snape's full erection.

Gently, Lupin licked this as well as Snape moaned again. Snape's hands went immediately to Lupin's wild long hair and soon Snape's hands were tangled into fists, holding Lupin by his hair, urging him on.

"Remus...Remus..." stuttered Snape, "come up here".

Remus stood only to be roughly pulled into a kiss. Snape's mouth was open, his hot tongue probing. Snape kissed along his jawbone up to his earlobe, licking it. Snape hissed in Lupin's ear, "Don't be gentle."

Remus' eyes met Snape's and Remus smiled, showing canine-like teeth. He quickly stripped Snape of his robe and then his own and pulled him back into the living room by his hand. Lupin pushed Snape down so that he was lying across the reclining chair facedown. Remus immediately dove down onto Snape, kissing his butt and driving his tongue into his exposed, puckered hole.

Snape bucked as Remus slipped in a finger, then a second. Lupin straddled Snape and bent down to whisper in his ear, "Do you want this, Sev? Do you?"

"God, yes...I need..." responded Snape, barely able to talk.

Remus gently withdrew his fingers and slid his own erection in, beginning his orgasmic agenda. Remus cried out with pleasure and Snape bucked up, hissing erotic vulgarities.

"Deeper, Remus," commanded Snape, and Lupin complied.

Their coupling was frenzied as they toppled off of the chair onto the floor and continued on like animals, tearing into each other, thrusting and cursing and holding onto one another for dear life.

"So good...so...so," stammered Snape, on the brink of orgasm.

"Oh, God, Snape, I'm going to...I'm so close..." begged Lupin, praying he could make it last and last. But the thundering orgasm overtook them both. As Lupin reached around, he gripped Snape's throbbing manhood. Snape came in a tremulous wave; and Lupin was behind him, impaled inside him, meeting the same intense fate.

Snape lay gingerly on his side and Lupin lay spooned behind him holding him and breathing in unison with his bruised lover.

"You got me drunk," growled Snape.

"I was horny to begin with," answered Lupin, playfully caressing Snape's softening member.

"What does that make me?" growled Snape again.

Lupin chuckled to himself, picturing Snape earlier on the path that circled the lake.

"Hell on Wheels", laughed Lupin, "Hell on Wheels."

-fin