Lists and assorted thingies that I find amusing. (If you find something amusing, send it in, please--the world doesn't need anymore of what I find amusing.)
Books You'll Never See on the Shelves
(Contributed by myself and a friend who refused to be named as a party to this sort of insanity.)
1. Objective Journalism by Rita Skeeter
2. Being An Evil Overlord and Conquering the World in Ten Easy Steps for Dummies by Voldemort
3. Underachievers Inc. by Hermione Granger
4. Waning of the Moon by Remus J. Lupin (Published by the same people who do the Harlequin Romances and Mills & Boon sort of stuff.)
5. Controlling Your Temper and Baser Urges Via Zen Meditation by Severus Snape
6. Generation S: Modern Day Slacker Wizards by Percy Weasley
7. LunaC (A gritty autobiographical look into the dark underside of lycanthropy featuring drugs, sex and beastality.) by Remus J. Lupin
9. 100% Accurate Predictions by Sybil Trelawney
10. Care for Guinea Pigs & Hamsters by R. Hagrid
11. Azkaban Nights by A. Dementor (Probably published by the same people who do the Harlequin Romances and Mills & Boon sort of stuff too.)
12. I Love Muggles by Lucius Malfoy
Books You Actually Have A Hope of Finding
1. Teenage Machiavelli by T. M. Riddle
2. Charms to Use on Goats by Aberforth Dumbledore (If he could get someone to type it out while he dictates.)
3. 1001 Tricks To Play on Friends, Family and Enemies by F. & G. Weasley
4. Azkaban Daze by Sirius Black
5. The Littlest Hippogriff by R. Hagrid
6. I Was A Teenaged Werewolf (And I Still Am) by Anonymous
7. Death Eater Destiny by P. Pettigrew
8. Perfectly Normal, Thank You Very Much! by V. & P. Dursley
9. My Life With Muggles by H. Potter (Wait a minute, this one's been done already . . .)
10 I Was A Teenaged Death Eater by Anonymous (Manuscript dropped off by someone described as "tall, sallow and not-that-good-looking-but-sexy-in-his-own-way".)
11. Dragons, Three-Headed Doggies and Flobberworms, Oh My! by R. Hagrid
12. My Favourite Confectioneries & Other Sweets by Albus Dumbledore